war is ridiculous. so ridiculous that when rewritten backwards, it reads 'raw.' wounds are incredibly raw after you realize how much emotion fucks things up. some days are good. some days not so good. watching movies certainly doesn't make things easier. not having every channel readily available to you was sign. now that you've paid your bill and upgraded, the cable company decided to up your viewing options. so after a long day at work, you sit and drown yourself in fictional pieces.
it becomes medicinal. you know, the thought to forget about everything. you'd hope that it brings you some sense of relief. however, it's not forgettable as it is relatable. these ancient and novel works are fragments of truth. where there is passion, hurt, anger, and somber, there is validity. all because it circles back to all of our lives. people make these things and other people watch these things. things, that's all this is. material that only complicates this cycle. consider it, if you will, as a first world problem.
so then we are safe to assume that we are at war with ourselves. every societal component is designed in such a way that affects us. it's solely meant to penetrate our insecurities. seldom does it reflect the right decisions and/or proper mode of conduct in some situations. a trick mirror is placed in front of you. you watch, hear, read about passion, hurt, anger, and somber and you transform your life around this observation. we are apes reenacting motion.
i challenge you to look into someone's eyes. watch children play with their imaginary friends at a park. eat on the street corner wearing ripped jeans with shit stains. allow yourself to savor that moment. once you are immersed within the action, then look up and observe. witness with a clean slate. do not feel as if you need to live up to any expectation... just feel. whatever the response is for you is the right response. as a matter of fact, it's the only response worth noting.
it is here that we, as a collective species, can create a self perspective. sure, some of ours will overlap while the rest differ in immense marginal aptitude. the important lesson learned is that thought at that particular moment belongs to you. it is up to you if you share that with someone else.
manifesting faith in another is a real thing; especially if the other party is on the same level. you'd be pleasantly surprised once you begin opening this fresh batch for the first time. people in all sorts of shapes and sizes then walk into your peripheral. it is truly a fascinating notion.
i have been craving wings for a week now. the cycle is officially here, i can feel her kick and scream. when food is my closest acquaintance i know shit is about to go down. i successfully engulfed 1.5 turkey sandwiches, a caesar salad, two oreos, and a large lemonade in 30mins. i don't remember much after that. i may have blacked out. actually, i did black out. i awoke from a comatose nap and felt like nikki minaj on a sunday morning. the trunk was locked and loaded. every calorie made it's way to my ass.
there was a person in my circle who no longer sits beside me. it is unfortunate how life works sometimes. positive memories and warm sensations fill your heart. pain and frustration also make their way inside too.
i wish things were different, i really mean that. they say that things happen for a reason. a reason of which consumes my mind every evening. i do hope all is well and i meditate for your well being daily.
p.l.h,
a
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