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  • moldypillow

marriage | artificial & natural light

Updated: May 26, 2020

when i look at you, it all makes sense. though i know too well how this goes. eyes meet with an esoteric base. combinatorial transgression ensues. where soul energy is forgotten. it gets repetitive. with repetition comes complacency. how long are you going to do this to yourself?

soon, lights flicker. you haven't paid the bill for months. guilt. presence felt. imitation to a falsehood is doomed by persistent epigenetic martyrs now invisible because their eyes failed to launch toward the possible. insular in their approach as they have confined their belief to one life; the life they lived. they never thought to work on personal disputes because death was their end. swept most issues under a rug . and now, you're here. the most contemporary iteration. damp. cold. confused as to why all these issues are here? where did they come from? why me and not her/him? virtually no reference.

i propose if they (past lives) actually gave a shit, they would've given more solution-based postulates upon dealing with their sub-optimal issues. at the very least, shown up when you are in need of some guidance. shame keeps them out of the conversation. they can't face when they bear no face.

you see, it's not just our lives, it's all lives that brought you here. every single one had a mission. now, whether those lives actually worked on completing that mission or if they did succeed... is another story. point is you must recognize that this life does not solely belong to you. others have molded it. you will soon pass those newly found lessons onto the next life. you come from a lineage of past lives. you are in a constant process of transcending desires and thinking. where you "problem solve" is not done in concert. adhesion to social affirmation is toxic. close the door. hinge blinds. this is a private venture. that is, until privacy success meets temporality.

you reach a point where you make sense of all nonsense. it is time to share with your past lives this information. though they may have abandoned you in the past, it's time to forgive. someone needs to do it. have them issue constructive responses. listen to those responses. if they are closed for captioning, then it is time to reach out to change the channel. extend inquiry to forces outside yourself. not to those who precariously cannot see beyond their current state, but those who are laudatory in their journey. those who have done what you've done and are doing what you are doing. they are the breeds you need to share an orbital hybridization. clash of energy is not a clash as it is a dance between a pair of minds, bodies, and spirits.

so when i reference "you," i lean toward the direct reflection you face when you gaze into a mirror. as we all do from time to time. some more than others. few who look for more than just surface area.

i had a vision the other day. i stood looking into a densely packed reflection. in actual life there was a black, matte canvas. black because it absorbs light. matte because it does not reflect light. total film geek language, but you get the picture. a neutral experience.

i looked at my reflection. then back to my actual life. peered my eyes above my head… nothing. looked at the reflection. saw nothing. until i decided i wanted to see something. something that would help me evolve. just then, a ladder appeared. i manifested this ladder. so much so that i did not need to corroborate it to actual life. i felt the weight over my head. fascinating. with this ladder, i can climb. and i did. until the ladder fell on the y-plane. here, my mission was not to climb up as it was to climb forward. evenly. to where? the fuck if i knew. again, laudatory in my journey. all i knew was that my mind had the power to create this. now this was my reality.

and like that, we can create negative manifestations as well. those who stare into that mirror for too long, outlast their expiration date. i urge you to change your language. change direction. be open to modifications. fluid in curiosity. brilliant waves begin to appear. trust me.

who is the force who you will share this with? imagine looking into their eyes. witness them building their material resource toward growth. another ladder, swing, etc. perhaps that manifestation combines with yours. a charlie's chocolate factory of wonders. such a beautiful juncture. i'd like to think. it's never actually happened in my actual life. i feel it is a moment not many speak of when it does transpire. maybe this is also work done in private. backstage while the others perform. maybe my past lives experienced these moments. and maybe, just maybe, they had to leave me so i would seek outside this room.




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