• moldypillow

déjà vu comes in waves, next time take a picture.



precipitation is 1% today. appears internal precipitation is a solid 89%.


ever get to a place where you are alone, but the loudest sound in the room are all your thoughts shouting over monotone? are you really alone? let's flesh that out, shall we.


cue thoughts posited in third person due to the ensemble nature in plurality.

we gave you everything in our capacity. we even stood up for you when our doubts crept in. in no way going against our individualized intuition, but that's the thing about the flow. sometimes your inhibitions stem from archaic behaviors. old concepts and truths. we're in a place of challenging those inhibitions. trying to have a conversation with them when they arise. perhaps in this new evolved space, it is necessary to rework said inhibitions. just understand that you may just come back home to them in the end or you may redefine a new space to operate from.


that's the thing about fluidity. it opens unknown potential.


never gets easy. evolving into a newer version of yourself more or less takes you back in naivety. ground zero. once that version is mastered, you realize a newer and more refine version is just outside that door. whether you opt to open it is up to you. i suppose that's the beauty of it all. humbling experience.


we held space. pivoted countless of times. where fluidity took the wheel.


a storm. an ocean. rough waters. surf was about 20ft tall. you wanted to take a boat. said that you could at least see where you're going. we tried to convince you to go under. you wanted to know where you we're going. an echo that continues to reverberate in our space today. said riding above would allow you to do just that. also said it would be faster.


we watched you amble toward your boat. grave compassionate succor led us to you push it into rocky waters. we urged you once more to go with us under. you refused. and with that, we watched you go. colossal waves crowded your view. you aimed to see your volitions through. we dipped under. our view was also crowded. difference was that it was also peaceful. sounds as abstruse to us as it does to you.


everything is so weightless underwater. one is very conscious on where and how much one pushes/pulls because of the sheer body of the ocean. when you let go, the world falls away. what once were stressors imperceptibly dilute within a buoyant landscape. so one only pushes when you feel the need to push, not reactionary… say like one would need to do when presented a series of waves. certainly not alluding to which alternative is better than the other; two different journeys to somewhat similar endpoints.


when you have been accustomed to underwater life, you seldom want to live above. granted we needed to come up from time to time. oxygen our incentive, albeit it was brief. eventually you were long gone. and we are exactly where we're supposed to be. somewhere between here and there. trusting the organic process.


we'll never know if you got to your destination. we'll never be able to tell you that our heart was crushed when you didn't want to go under with us. we'll never be able to tell you that our heart broke when you we pushed you out to shore and you never turned back to look at us. truth be told, every time we came up for air, we searched for you. until there was no you… and just us. again once more.


internal precipitation is now at a solid 98%. work in progress.


p.l.h,

a



© A.Abeynayake and moldypilow, 2011-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to moldypillow and/or A.Abeynayake and moldypillow with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

82 views0 comments